So many times I have been told I am rude, or maybe even abrasive. Most times it does not change my view of myself. It is hard to move past obstacles in your life, especially since new ones always make their way into your life. It is never ending!
My childhood was of great stress and hardship, but it was not as bad as others, nor was it as good as some others. There was no sexual abuse, for that I am blessed. There was physical abuse and some emotional/verbal/mental abuse, for that I am not so grateful, but it has taught me to be humble. We were not poor, we were not rich, but we were comfortable. My own blood family was my biggest obstacle. It always seemed that no matter what was done, it was never good enough. In this family you can try as hard as you can and yet still fail in their eyes. It can make you give up before you ever really get started.
Psalm 129:2 Many a time have they afflicted me from my youth: yet they have not prevailed against me.
What was not typical was that at 16, I found out that my mother was raped and that is how I was conceived. That was a deal breaker for me. That was my way to become rebellious, and ultimately angry. I had a personal relationship with God, but it really had no baring on how I acted in life. I knew that my whole foundation had been completely knocked off of its rocker! How could my Grandpa, as I was his little chickadee, be my birth father??? That was completely insane to me! Again, my blood family had done nothing to help my mother and certainly had not done anything to help me. I carried this baggage through life.
You can only imagine the rebellion that took place when this information entered into my life. I didn't become a drug addict, an alcoholic or nothing like that. I stayed as far away from my family as possible. I ran far and made my own life this is how I coped.
Outside of Gods hope my life remained chaotic and I reacted rude, hateful, abrasive, and anything else mean you could think of. It is very hard not to carry my baggage through life. The first step for me in returning back to the Lord was to understand..........
Psalm 130:5 "Wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His WORD I find Hope."
My life was overwhelming and I felt like I was drowning. I needed God to give me HOPE and help me learn to Love and then allow that LOVE to flow through me. I had so much junk I was jammed with negative emotion.
You never know when a certain experience will help you deal with another one, but you have to be so careful of what you carry over in life. When I turned to God due to certain events that I have experienced He was able to give me true contentment and security. He weaned me from my struggles.
Psalm 131:2 "Surely I have quieted my soul, like a weaned child with his mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me."
A child that is weaned no longer struggles for for milk when held near the mothers breast, but is satisfied and content.
Is what your carry going to be helpful or be a hindrance?
Today ladies, try to find someone that really needs encouragement, maybe someone that you have put down either in your mind or to their face. Try to make them realize that they are important to God and that they have value. You never really know the path someone has come down in their life. They may be holding it all together with one little string that is starting to fray. I believe it is so important to encourage other ladies. Those of us that have been brought up with easy lives, PRAISE GOD! However, not all of us have had that luxury. We all have to humble and know that God is working on ALL of us. Just because you don't think someone else is worthy means nothing, our worthiness is determined by God! I am forever grateful for that, who knows where I would be without Him! I am so thankful that God can use a wretch like me. See if you can be a blessing to someone else, you don't have to spend money on them, shower them with a few nice words. Do this for someone that you have never done this for before. It will be pleasing to the Lord.
I am honored and thankful to share weekly bits and pieces of my story through Gods word. My testimony is ongoing and I have so much to share on what God has done. I have real struggles and have made many wrong turns but I found forgiveness in the Lord. Jesus always taught through parables (stories) I pray my story can be offered as a lesson of hope.
Remember to encourage and not discourage,
Kari
