How hard is it to give it all up? Some people do it rather easily, some people will take their last breath with it all on their lap. I, for one, tried for far too many years to keep it all, deal with it all and inevitably I failed miserably every single time. Sure, sometimes it would be sort of okay, but it usually meant that another problem had been created for me to deal with. Not the smartest move I know.
By nature, I am a fixer! I want to make sure that everything has a solution, my solution, make sure that all of my friends/family are taken care, again by my standards, and make sure that all is fairly well in my life. It drives me crazy for people to be hurting and not being able to make the pain stop. Life is so unfair sometimes, however, a few weeks ago I took a HUGE leap of faith and God just about made me wait till the very end to answer my prayer one way or the other, but He took care of me.
My whole jail situation was caused purely by me trying to fix a problem for my husband, and it back fired in my face horribly! For your own personal information, do not ever, and I mean ever decide to commit one crime to help cover someone else in their time of need. Soooooo not worth it!!! On to God's blessing for me and my family. Just about a month ago my husband was told that as of October 12th, his job was being farmed out to Canada and that, well sorry everyone would be without a job. WOW!!! That was a blow to the gut. We had been arguing that day about some things that he had been doing, and my last statement to him was God will bring you to your knees and you will be the man that HE desires one way or another. Needless to say, God made that happen that very day. I wasn't wishing bad on my husband or dooming him, I just wanted him to know that I see so much in him and he is fighting back and forth with God for some unknown reason. I love him to death and would hang the moon and stars for him. I know he loves me too, his addiction just gets in the way sometimes.
So off to work he goes and finds out this about his job. He did not want to have to call home and tell me this news. I so wanted to say I told you so, but that wasn't being a supportive wife. Instead we prayed together real quick on the phone and chatted for a few and then he went back on to work. I was convinced that God was putting me through this test to see what road I would take this time. When my personal prayer came out, it went something like this, "God, oh man what is going on??? For one second do I think you have brought me and the husband and kids this far to just forget about us now. I am laying this down for YOU to deal with, I do not have the time nor the patience to figure this out. I am going to truly give it to you and I am not going to dwell on it or worry about it any longer, if you want him to lose his job, fine, if you do not, then fine. Whatever you have in our path is going to be what it is. I will not step on your toes, I will allow your will in my life this time around."
Well that was hard for me, to give it up to God and truly believe that He would handle it the best way for our family.
Isaiah 11:1 says "The Spirit of the LORD will rest on him, the Spirit of wisdom and of understanding, the Spirit of counsel and of power, the Spirit of knowledge and of the fear of the LORD"
After praying I did feel rested and peaceful, felt that God would provide and that we would be okay no matter what.
Isaiah 12:2 also states, "Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The LORD, the LORD, is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation."
Trusting God to take care of things is hard sometimes, letting go yourself and allowing someone else to, even God, can be so scary for some people (like me). We must know that God is so awesome and that He is going to provide for us in every way that we need. It is hard to let go of your old self and have a new self that is pleasing to God in every way, it is hard to just the let the cards fall where they may. It is so very hard for me to just let go and let God, but it worked! My husband found out this week that he is being able to stay on with the company in another capacity and he will be making more money! I never saw that coming at all. My husband has gotten way more serious about his responsibility to me and our children. I was told one time that my husband would never step up to be a Godly man as long as I was doing everything. I stepped back in faith and said that I was going to stop working and just worry about my children and husband. That has worked out wonderfully so far. Sure we have a lot less money to work with, but I get all the blessings and happiness from being here for everything with my family. Far more than the extra money would ever buy! Now my husband is taking his rightful place as my man and that blesses me so much. As you learn more about me and us, you will learn that our relationship has been a different one. We would often say we had a love/hate relationship, we love hating each other and hate loving each other. Sad I know, but it was the truth. We have made great strides, we are getting better and I truly believe it is because I have decided to let God do His work instead of me thinking I knew what was or is better for my family.
I urge you all to find at least one thing this week that you are struggling with and really, for real, seriously, absolutely hand it over to God. Let go and let God and just have some blind faith that He will not let you or your family fall on their face, He will not hinder you, He will only do what is absolutely best for you! I have a big gigantic awesome God that does miraculous things. Being overflowing with His spirit is so wonderful, I feel blessed beyond anything and it is wonderful. I am more light hearted, not because my husband will keep his job, but because I really handed it to God and He took care of me, just like He promises to do. I was far too hard headed, should have let go a long time ago!!!
Have a blessed week everyone.
Gave it all up and gave it to God,
Kari
