I am pretty sure the title alone will irritate some women. For a long time it was a term that infuriated me, how could some man expect me to be submissive to him, doesn't that mean my independence, originality, opinions and whatever else is lost forever??? No it does not.
Learning to be submissive has been extra hard for me, I never thought that it would ever become clear for me, but it has. I am no where near perfect, but I am really trying to get it right.
So many people just go through life doing as they see fit and never doing what they are supposed to do, just doing as they so choose. These types of people are not following very basic instructions. My pastor said last week that if we all worried about how our actions and choices were affecting those around us then we might not make the choices we do. That is a profound statement. If parents thought about them cheating on their spouse as a family decision, maybe so many people wouldn't commit adultery. If children thought about their choices as a family decision, maybe they wouldn't be so quick to do drugs or drink or commit crimes.
There are so many children out there with out their other parent because of selfish choices. So many children have not had their other parent around to teach them the right or wrong things to do or not do. It is really quite sad when you think about it. You might be thinking what does that have to do with being submissive? Well actually, it has a lot to do with it. If you look at the umbrella picture it tells you how we are supposed to be doing things. If Christ is at the top of our life, then our husbands should love his wife as Christ loves him. If a man is going to do this then he must provide for his family, protect his family and make sure that his wife's only job is to take care of home and the children.
Now what about the households where the parents were never married? Well if we were all waiting until we were married to begin a physical relationship with our mate, then we wouldn't have children to worry about on our own anyways. I am guilty of this as well, so I am definitely not pointing any fingers, but the real truth is had I waited to be physical with my husband then I would not be going through much of what I have. My choices put me in a bad place, it was a place where I felt cornered and that I had to do things to protect my children.
My pastor also told me one time, how do you ever expect your husband to be the man that God called him to be, if you are always taking care of everything? That was a punch in the gut! In my mind, I was thinking how do I let go and let him take over? Everything will fall apart if he doesn't do it quick enough. I was scared to death, but I let go and he has held the same job (he has always worked, just at different jobs) for two and a half years now, takes more initiative around the house and he feels a sense of pride for being the one to take care of us. I knew that my going to jail was a sign that I needed to settle down and stop trying to take God's matters into my own hands. I stepped back and stopped trying to be the provider and just became the mother. It feels so good!
1 Timothy 2:11 A woman should learn in quietness and full submission
I hope that the wives out there can understand the huge importance of being submissive to your husband. It doesn't mean that you can't be you, it just means that you must put him first, even if he is acting silly! That is the most important time to put him first, God is waiting to see what choice you are going to make. My husband gets on my last nerve almost every day, but I love him and I have to push through to the next day. We are both in the hands of the potter.
Keep striving to be the person that God wants you to be, it will pay off!
-Kari
