Alivia my youngest daughter, was anxiously waiting for us at the door of her classroom last week in church. She was waving her hand for me to hurry up. I was so excited to hear what she had to tell me.
After she began talking my heart began to sink to the bottom. She handed me the little yellow card that contains the verse they will memorize that week. She then said "Mom, will you please put this on the chalkboard this week and try hard to read it 5x's a day?" Now she was serious friends, very serious. She said it with love and compassion. She then went on to say "sometimes we all talk mean to each other and scream across the room, I think this will help us all out."
I felt like a failure that very moment. I also felt a prick in my heart that nudged me to make a change.
I grew up in a very loud family. We talked fast toward one another, screaming at times and never listened very well. Now we all got along and had fun growing up we just had some rough edges.
I see the same traits slipping into my family today. However we are striving daily to live for Christ and do whats right. But I will be honest, when you put 5 individuals under the roof of a home with 5 different personalities I promise that you will have tension in tense situations. My daughter Alivia is unique. She is our gift of sweetness and softness. She keeps us all on our toes when it gets tense. Now she is not always perfect, but she does have a gentle heart. I love that each of my children add character to the family.
So guess what verse was on the door for the WEEK...
Proverbs 15:1 "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but harsh words stir up anger"
When in a tense situation I often do not respond with a soft and gentle answer. I tend to blurt a harsh comment. Its not easy for me to be soft and gentle.
Bible study after bible study I have learned that what a person is on the inside will be an impact on his emotional state when circumstances of stress present themselves. I truey love the Word of God and strive to read it daily. I see God in my life daily and He continues to use me in amazing ways. However, I have to be on guard with my quick crazy temper. When chaos and stress start brewing, I have to PAUSE and really ask God to help me. A gentle answer requires much self control, love and patience. This fruit of this spirit has had a hard time growing on my branches. Thankfully God keeps fertilizing me and putting disease control on my branches so I am able to yield healthy fruit.
My husband said "Yelling and talking loud is a learned trait" We can easily teach and model this negative behavior to each other. We have made a commitment to God and each another that this is not acceptable for our family. Things have been changing and it will be a lifetime of commitment. The important thing is you have to be aware of the problem and then humble yourself to admit it's no longer right.
I came from a good family growing up, but we had problems! Don't we all? However we never worked on our problems. We just kept on living. So as I desire to grow deeper in my personal relationship with God, the Holy Spirit my teacher patiently continues to help me refine the rough edges.
I desire a family that is nourished in the Love of God. I hope to see a generation that does not settle for rough edges in tense situations. Our rough edges can be very damaging to the life of others if not taken seriously.
Today's reading in the Word went along side the verse my daughter received at church. I love the way God speaks to us and knows exactly what He wants us to know.
1 Corinthians 13:1 "Though I speak with tongues of men and angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal"
Have you ever heard a clanging symbol or the sound of brass? It does not sound gentle. It is very annoying and aggravating.
Have you ever been around someone that yells or screams all the time? That can be annoying and aggravating too?
God has given me several opportunities in ministry to lead, teach and now even pursue avenues of writing. This is all great but without love this profits nothing. We love through our responses. Love does not behave rudely.
When in a tense situation, with my kids I am often not soft and gentle, I can be rude. But I have decided that I will not become a clanging cymbal.
The family chalkboard has kept me in line this week.The chalkboard is located in a place that smacks you in your face all day long! You cannot miss it. But I love the reminder that without love I am pretty much bankrupt! I want to be a living and breathing example to my children and I will strive hard daily to commit to change.
QUESTIONS TO PONDER: How can you love today with a kingdom love? Will you choose to guard your responses in the heat of tension? Will you invite God in to help you and your family today?
I also suggests a Family Chalkboard. Place it in an area of the house in which all will see, you will be amazed at the results.
Blessings friends,
