In these situatuons, I’ve turned to the word of God.
I’m not some wonderful bible scholar.. I totally cheat! I go to google, I type in my issue (fears, anger, whatever) add scripture to it, and it magically generates truth for me to read or share with others.
The last few times I have shared with friends in serious trouble my words seemed predelivered or better yet a friend said to me "You have no clue Heather. It is so easy to say things like that to someone but it is not easy for them to live it. Everything can't be generalized by common statements like that, you know what to say to someone who experienced the same pain you had. You had the ability to comfort them but you have no experience in this area. We are still struggling with WHY."
As I sit here in bed pondering the hurt of several friends, I will agree I have no clue what the pain feels like to loose a mom in my teens, to loose a baby in my arms to an unexpected death, to come down with colon cancer with no notice, to loose my son to sin and drugs, to loose my husband in an accident. These are a few of my friends situations these days.
I can tell you it makes me feel a dark overwhelming feeling of ‘Your losing.. so just quit!’ Do you know that feeling?
Like you’re spinning your wheels, hitting road blocks or just can’t get your darn head on straight to focus?
Job in the bible lost everything. Remember a few paragraphs I said that I go back to Gods word.
This is what I discovered in the wee hours of the night. When I pondered the pain of my friends.
In the book of Job, in the Bible, Job asks the question WHY he has had to suffer the loss of his family, children, and health. God does answer, but Job cannot bear the answer.
He is too small and God is too big! God speaks to him out of the whirlwind, (Job 40:1-5 NRSV) And the LORD said to Job: {2} "Shall a faultfinder contend with the Almighty? Anyone who argues with God must respond." {3} Then Job answered the LORD: {4} "See, I am of small account; what shall I answer you? I lay my hand on my mouth. {5} I have spoken once, and I will not answer; twice, but will proceed no further."
Again in (Job 42:2-3 NRSV) talking to God, "I know that you can do all things, and that they can thwart no purpose of yours . . . Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand, things too wonderful for me, which I did not know."
The Bible tells us that we could not understand the answer, even if we received it!
Add to that, even if we could understand it, it would not help in our grief because they [those we lost] are no more.
The answer to the question why would do nothing to take away the sorrow and pain from the loss of our children or loved ones. Our cry why, is not to increase our divine knowledge but to take away the pain of our grief.
In reality we are not asking why after all. We are just using the word to cry out, "God take away the pain of my grief." "God it hurts so much to lose this child I loved so much." "God I hurt!" "Help me in my grief."
It is at this point that God offers us the answer to our true cry.
We stand at a turning point. Jesus Christ invites us to . . . (Matthew 11:28-30 NRSV) "Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. {29} Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. {30} For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."
God's loving hand in Jesus Christ is saying "Come to me" and I will answer your true question, how can the pain go away.
Jesus said, (Matthew 5:4 NRSV) "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted."
I have no answer to my friends grief and I have never came passed that pain in my story. However, I believe in Jesus and His power and truth. I will never understand and will never try to give my thoughts. It's to hard for me to comprehend.
I lay in my bed and the only thought I had for my friends was
JESUS JESUS JESUS.
It is only after we have been broken that He creates holes in us that allows His presence and blessing to fill those voids. All broken in differant ways. That I hate because some broken way more then others.
God will not give bread that has not been broken. Rejoice in the breaking because after the breaking comes blessing.
JESUS JESUS JESUS
